Resistance Every Day

I show up here every day, even if I only have a teeny tiny piece of art that is the sole creative output of my day.

I show up because once I have been here and posted ‘this is what I made today’ I know that I have beaten fitever wur cauin the deil the day…. creative blocks, Bluebeards, creative monsters, inner critics, black dogs, procrastination, perfectionism… all sorts of ways to frame the internal resistance that tries to shut me down every single day.

Some of it is learned from outer critics who say shitty things, or give silent disdain, or withhold praise out of jealousy or bitterness, but it is the internalising of those things that feeds the resistance, the blocks, the painful inertia.

Even without those external swipes, resistance will find a way to get in, it never runs out of emotional hooks.

So I show up every day, and sometimes it is easy, and sometimes it is such a monumental internal effort to begin working that I wonder if it’s worth it, but once I have overcome the resistance, even if the thing I made is Simply Not It, I feel better within myself.

The daily practise isn’t just about making art, it’s about making a little bit of serotonin, even if the art is mediocre.

Mediocre, by the way, is worse than Bad, because at least Bad elicits the boak response 🤢 or the laugh 😃 response.

I think of all the days I didn’t make art because of these blocks, and I don’t want to go there again.

Today was a good day, I worked on several different things, and felt good about most of them, but the resistance was the first thing I encountered.

Til the morn,

Suzanne

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Comments

2 responses to “Resistance Every Day”

  1. Sheelagh Avatar
    Sheelagh

    Hooray for you, overcoming that resistance! I salute you, because I know just how big that mountain of resistance can appear. I don’t know how many days I’ve sat at my art table, laid out the paints & the paper or canvas, and then managed to not do a damn thing. I’ve sat & cried holding my pencil over my sketchbook. But not a mark is made. I’ve even dreamt I was painting and woke up hopeful that the day would find me creating, but it didn’t. But …. I’m very happy to say that today, I started a painting!! It’s a tutorial, a fall scene of a big maple tree with gorgeous yellow, orange & red leaves dominating the leaf colour. There’s a rope with a tire swing hanging from a branch. And it felt soooo good to actually paint. And I’m happier than I’ve been in a while because of it. 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thrummiebizzum Avatar
      thrummiebizzum

      Yay! I’m so happy you broke through! *standing ovation*

      Liked by 1 person

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