100 Day Project Day 3

I don’t have much of a problem being creative every day, even when I am procrastinating about finishing something – which I am very much doing right now – I have lots of other things I can pick up and work on, and I work in sketchbooks and journals, so the challenge with this 100 Day Project is not the doing of the art for 100 days, it’s the showing my work part.

Today I found myself in that headspace that usually heralds my exit from these online post every day exercises. I found myself thinking about the posting part, and the necessity for what I post to look good, before I had even picked up a pencil or a brush. My inner critic grabbed that thought and ran with it.

In the end I worked on four different things, and when I photographed them, I hated them all. As I am typing I realise that perhaps if I had liked the first drawing, there might not have been any other efforts today. How strange to observe that my perfectionism felt constrictive, and like I was heading towards a block scenario, and in the end I have four pieces of creative output.

Four pieces of practise, and I remind myself that this is my word of the year.

I started out with one of my small sketchbooks that has every page wrecked with paint and mark making, and I used some of my alcohol markers to pull a face out of the mess. I had a bit of fun with some isopropyl alcohol and a tissue, smudging the markers back and wiping some of the colour away, then adding another layer.

I decided it was fine, but it wasn’t good enough for Instagram.

Next I grabbed a larger sketchbook journal, one that I am trying to fill because it has been hanging around for too long, and I used the same profile selfie as the other day. This time I was playing with my 5mm retractable pencil with a 4B lead, and a chunky giant 9B graphite crayon.

I wasn’t aiming for a likeness, and I was working fast, and I knew that I was feeling tight because of the perfectionist for Instagram thing, and I was hating it. I have to add here that I do not like doing self-portraits, and it is a new thing for me to have recently been embracing them, so I guess it’s even easier for me to hate a drawing if the subject is me.

I did enjoy playing with the negative space with the giant crayon, and in the end I was happier with the drawing, but…

… it wasn’t good enough for Instagram.

Next, I picked up a wood panel that I had created a messy background on a while ago. It is scrumptious with texture from collaged paper and fabric, and the paint that I had smeared on is full of grungey texture too. There are a couple of shapes in the mess that I find interesting, so I got out my acrylic inks and played around a bit. I loosened up again, and got going with the inks, and some neocolors and pastels. I enjoy that kind of play, where I am pulling at shapes and seeing where they go, and letting my intuition lead me.

When I stopped, I took a photo, and….. it wasn’t good enough for Instagram.

As the daylight was starting to fade, I was almost at the point of just giving in, and not posting anything for Day 3 on Instagram, or here. I opened my pad of hot press watercolour paper, and there was a charcoal drawing I had forgotten about. It was something I did as a rough sketch to test out the technique of doing gelli plate charcoal transfers. It’s a nothing drawing, just a sketch, so I started laying in a layer of acrylic paint with a large flat brush.

Again, I had fun with what I was doing, but… it wasn’t good enough for Instagram.

So I used an app on my phone to make a collage of the photos of today’s creative practise, and this makes them small enough that I’m not going to cringe at posting them, and I’m going to have a conversation with myself about getting out of my own way.

This is my second blog post today, I have earned a peace of chocolate.

edit: I have just had the typo in the last sentence pointed out to me, but I think I will leave it, piece, peace, all necessary.

Suzanne