Painting Over Perfectionism

Yesterday I spent some time on the oil portrait I have been working on. I am not much used to working in oils, so the learning curve is, well, curvy, and steep. I realise I have become quite comfortable in making art fast, and I enjoy that process, and it definitely helps me be loose and messy, and much less focused on perfection. I have a lot to say about perfectionism, maybe another day.

Now that I am exploring portraits in a more formal way in the class I am doing, it’s interesting to see where that looseness and freedom is paying off, and also where I am challeneged with that. Yesterday, while working with the oil paints, I found myself overloading my brush and really wanting to get going and paint fast, and this wasn’t giving me the results I wanted in the painting. So I had to practise being slow, being more intentional with my brush strokes, and being minimalist with my paint. The struggle was real, but the effort was worth it, and almost immediately I felt better about what was happening on the canvas.

I’m taking my time with the painting, because I am really enjoying it, and the next day I did a little on the oil portrait, but just worked on the flower, not the face. Of course the paint on the palette was starting to dry, and I wanted to use it for something, so I grabbed a canvas pad and without thinking, just started sketching a figure.

I’m really observing the way my inner critic, my pissy perfectionist, regales the narrative that I am not an artist, I can’t paint, I’m not good enough, and that I don’t know how to use oils, and blah, blah, blah. And then I just get immersed in what I am doing, let go, and without overthinking I have achieved both a patient, slow, focused portrait session, and a bit of a wild, intuitive sketching session, both with a medium my pissy perfectionist tells me I can’t use.

My perfectionist should just be happy with the fact I actually clean my brushes after oil painting.

Frankly.

Suzanne